Here they are:

Life doesn’t have to be hard.
Work doesn’t have to be miserable.
And there is no one-size-fits-all way to build a good life.

Those ideas sound simple. Almost obvious.
But if they were widely accepted, a lot fewer people would be walking around exhausted, resentful, and quietly questioning their choices.

Some People Love Traditional Jobs — And That’s Not the Problem

Let’s get this out of the way first.

Some people genuinely love traditional jobs. They thrive with structure. They like knowing what’s expected of them. They enjoy being part of a system and doing their work well.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

The problem isn’t traditional work.
The problem is pretending it works for everyone  and assuming something is wrong with you if it doesn’t.

For some people, the same structure that feels grounding to one person feels suffocating to another. (Hi, it’s me) And that difference doesn’t mean anyone failed. It just means people are wired differently.

Why I Started Looking for a “Real Job”

Heading into 2025, I hit a point where I was tired of my own internal back-and-forth.

I started wondering if maybe I had been fooling myself.
If freedom was unrealistic.
If alignment was something you talked about, not something you actually lived.

So I did what a lot of people do when doubt takes over — I tried to be “practical.”

For about 3-4 months, I searched for jobs. I applied. I interviewed. On paper, many of them made sense. They were respectable. Stable. Logical.

And almost every single interview felt the same.

Heavy, draining – like my soul was literally leaving my body. Yes, it may be dramatic, but it’s the honest truth.

The Spiral That Changed Everything

I won’t pretend I handled that season gracefully the entire time.

There was a spiral. A real one.

I questioned whether I needed to be more realistic. Whether wanting flexibility and freedom meant I wasn’t serious. Whether I was avoiding responsibility instead of choosing alignment.

That spiral is what ultimately led me to pause, reset, and stop forcing answers.

In January, I did a 14-day reset, not as a magic fix, but as a way to calm my nervous system and get honest with myself.

What changed wasn’t my circumstances.
It was my grip on almost everything.

I stopped trying to force clarity. I stopped demanding a perfect plan. I started paying attention to what actually felt sustainable.

And once I did that, things started to open up.

What Happens When You Stop Forcing

Here’s something I know for sure now: you cannot be aligned when you’re forcing.

For years, I had been trying to force money, force success, force momentum, completely believing that pressure was the price of progress.

All forcing ever gave me was exhaustion and tunnel vision.

When I let go, I started noticing options I had previously dismissed.

Flexible income.
Non-traditional paths.
Ways of working that fit my life instead of consuming it.

Driving for Spark. DoorDash. Monetizing creative work. Building income in pieces instead of one all-consuming role.

I used to think of these as “just extra money.”

The reality surprised me.

Driving for Spark has consistently brought in more income than sitting at a desk for eight hours, while working significantly fewer hours. It’s flexible. It’s practical. And it allows me to be present in my actual life.

Is it the answer for everyone? Of course not.

But it proved something important: when you stop forcing one narrow path, more options appear.

A Season Is Not a Sentence

This is where nuance matters.

There are absolutely seasons where you take the job because you have to. Bills exist. Families need stability. Survival is real.

This isn’t about ignoring reality or pretending responsibility doesn’t matter.

It’s about remembering that a season doesn’t have to become a life sentence.

You’re allowed to work where you are and stay open to something better. You’re allowed to build toward alignment slowly. You’re allowed to question a path that drains you without having all the answers yet.

Choosing Alignment Over Hustle — Together

This shift hasn’t only been mine.

My husband and I have both come to see how much forcing and hustling drained us over time. Pushing harder didn’t create fulfillment, it created depletion.

We’re intentionally slowing down. Looking for aligned ways to use our skills. Building in a way that supports our life instead of running it.

Less grind.
More clarity.
More intention.

What I Know Now

Life doesn’t have to be hard.
Work doesn’t have to be miserable.
And there is no single blueprint for a good life.

Some people thrive in traditional roles.
Some people need flexibility and autonomy.
Most people just need permission to admit which one they are.

If you’re unhappy, exhausted, or quietly wondering if there’s another way, you’re not broken and you’re most definitely not alone.

You might just be in the wrong space, following the path that isn’t for you.

There are more options than you can see when you’re forcing.
Opportunities expand when you stay open.
And a life that feels good isn’t unrealistic — it’s personal.

Want to go deeper?

If this post felt like a permission slip you didn’t know you needed,
the podcast is your next stop.

Headphones on, pressure off
→ Press play

Wishing you a beautiful, abundant day!

It wasn’t about goals.
Or strategies.
Or “what’s the plan.”

It was all about identity. Specifically, how loyal we are to our old one. It’s something that you can’t unsee, once it’s brought to your attention.

So instead of making another list of things I want to do, I decided to name the things I’m done carrying because most of them don’t belong to who I’m becoming anyway.

The sneaky way we stay loyal to an old identity

Here’s the part that really made me stop and think.

We don’t stay stuck because we don’t want change.
We stay stuck because our nervous systems are loyal to what is familiar.

We are so accustomed to who we’ve been and that version of us that learned to survive – even when that version of you is exhausted or shrinking or unhappy with the way things currently are.

We say we want more confidence, more freedom, more abundance,
but then we keep showing up as the version of ourselves who doubts, overthinks, plays small, and second-guesses….and it makes it impossible to move forward.

And suddenly, so much made sense.

All those years I set big goals and somehow ended up in the same place.
All those times I said “this is my year” and quietly slipped back into old patterns.
All the starting and stopping.
All the shame I carried for not following through.

It wasn’t laziness.
It wasn’t a lack of discipline.

I was simply trying to create a new life while still being loyal to an old identity.

And that never works.

Why being “done” isn’t about willpower

This was the biggest reframe for me.

Being “done” isn’t about trying harder.
It’s not about forcing better habits.
It’s not about white-knuckling your way into change.

It’s about deciding who you are no longer available to be.

Because behavior ALWAYS follows identity.

If you still see yourself as:

• the one who starts and stops
• the one who needs permission
• the one who has to prove herself
• the one who plays small to stay safe

you’ll keep unconsciously returning to that version even when you want something different.

So being “done” is an identity decision.

It’s saying: I’m not her anymore.

Everything I’m done with in 2026 (and beyond)

Once I really saw this clearly, the list poured out.

In 2026 and beyond, I am DONE with:

People-pleasing and shrinking to stay safe.
Settling for “fine” when I know I want more.
Doubting myself and calling it realism.
Imposter syndrome pretending to be humility.
Perfectionism disguised as high standards.
Staying quiet when my inner voice is loud and clear.
Letting fear lead.
Carrying shame and guilt that don’t belong to me.
Overthinking everything into exhaustion.
Over-explaining my choices.
Over-carrying emotional weight that isn’t mine.

And I’m also done with:

Not taking care of my body.
Eating food that leaves me feeling sluggish and icky.
Treating self-care like a reward instead of a requirement.
Putting myself last and calling it being responsible.

None of this belongs to the version of me I’m stepping into.

What I’m choosing instead

Being “done” doesn’t mean I suddenly have life figured out.

It means I finally stopped abandoning myself.

In 2026 and beyond, I’m choosing:

• self-trust over self-doubt
• clarity over chaos
• presence over pressure
• courage over comfort
• honesty over harmony
• progress over perfection

It’s not about re-inventing yourself. It’s about remembering who I was before I learned to shrink.
Before I learned to doubt myself.
Before I learned to make myself smaller to belong (I’ve got a whole podcast episode coming up on this juicy topic! )

Final word

I’m done shrinking.
I’m done negotiating my worth.
I’m done being loyal to a version of me that no longer fits.

This next season isn’t about trying harder.

It’s about being different.

I’m in my DONE era.
And I refuse to go back.

Want to go deeper?

If this resonated, I talk more about identity shifts, self-trust, and breaking out of old patterns on my podcast, Be Unrealistic, and I’ll be unpacking this exact topic even more in upcoming episodes. You can listen wherever you get your podcasts

And while the DONE program is currently closed, there is still so much grounding, clarity, and expansive energy inside This Abundant Life and right now you can get a week inside the membership for $1!

That space continues to be a powerful reminder that you don’t need to become someone new, you just need to stop being loyal to who you’ve outgrown.

Cheering for you always!

Some links in this post may be affiliate links. That just means if you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only ever share things I genuinely use, love, or would happily recommend. Thanks for supporting this cozy corner of the internet.

Let me ask you something that sounds simple… but might hit a little too hard:

When was the last time you did something just because it sounded fun?
Not because it was productive.
Not because it was “good for you.”
Not because it checked a box.

Just… pure fun.

Somewhere along the way, many of us absorbed this weird adult message that fun is for kids… and grown-ups are supposed to be responsible, serious, efficient, and slightly exhausted at all times.

To me, that sounds insane, because fun is one of the most human things about us.

Why “Fun” Feels So Triggering for Adults

When someone says, “You should have more fun,” most adults don’t feel inspired.

They feel irritated and annoyed and all the snarky emotions.

The adult brain immediately goes:

• Must be nice.
• With what time?
• After I get everything else done?

And I totally get it.

We don’t resist fun because we despise joy or dislike the idea of doing something enjoyable.
We resist fun because we’ve been conditioned to believe that fun is:

• irresponsible
• childish
• unproductive
• something you earn after burnout

Yikes.

If fun requires life to be caught up first… then fun never happens.

Because, let’s be real….. life is never caught up.

The Lie We’ve Been Sold: Life Has to Be Hard to Be Worthy

We’ve been conditioned to believe that if something feels easy, it doesn’t count.

So we push and hustle and force…and we turn everything, even good things, into something heavy.

Growth becomes super exhausting.
Healing becomes hard work.
Dreams become overwhelming pressure to achieve.

And of course, life has hard seasons that are real and painful and so exhausting.

But hard seasons do not require the removal of fun and joy and play.

Being an adult does not require becoming a machine with little to no time for enjoyment.

Fun doesn’t make you immature or irresponsible.
Fun makes you human.

What Fun Actually Does for You

Fun isn’t just “cute.”

Fun completely regulates your nervous system.
It brings you back into your body.
It interrupts the spiral. (all the spirals..shame, doubt, overwhelm, fear, etc)
Fun reminds you that your life isn’t only obligations — it’s also yours to play with!

There are academic studies that show play and fun have a measurable impact on our mental and emotional health, suggesting humans need hours of play and fun every day. I’ve seen numbers around two and a half hours, not as a reward, but as a regulator.

And it makes sense. When you’re doing something you genuinely enjoy, stress softens. Cortisol drops. Overwhelm loosens its grip. Your body knows the difference.

And even if that sounds unrealistic, the takeaway matters:

The point being: We were never meant to grind our way through life.

We were meant to LIVE it. And fun…it’s part of the living.

Let’s Make Fun Practical (Not Pinterest-Perfect)

This isn’t about adding yet another thing to your to-do list.

This is about letting life feel lighter inside the life you already have.

Fun doesn’t need to be big or expensive or planned.
And it definitely doesn’t need to be productive.

It just needs to feel good.

Ways to Add Fun Into Your Day (Real Life Edition)

Fun Just For You

• Take a walk without your phone.
• Make your coffee or tea feel like a ritual.
• Light a candle in the middle of the day.
• Doodle, color, or sketch with zero skill required. (perfectionism….take a seat)
• Read a chapter of a book purely for pleasure.
• Sit in the sun for five minutes like a cat.
• Play one song (or five) and dance in your kitchen.
• Write without fixing or editing.
• Try a new snack and romanticize it.
• Do nothing – on purpose.

Tell your brain we DO NOT need to turn these things into a push for productivity.

Fun With Your Kids

• Dance parties while making dinner.
• Let them teach you a game they love.
• Sidewalk chalk for no reason.
• Snack boards that feel like picnics.
• Asking, “What sounds fun right now?” and actually listening.
• Singing loudly in the car.
• Silly fashion shows.
• Playing games and letting them win sometimes.

You’re not just having fun – you’re literally modeling how to live life in the best of ways. They are always watching.

Fun With Your Partner

• Evening walks with phones left at home.
• Nostalgia nights with old music and memories.
• Cooking together without rushing.
• No-screen conversations.
• Spontaneous ice-cream runs.
• Dreaming out loud together.

Connection happens most through play, not effort.

Fun as a Family

• Game nights that don’t become a production.
• Movie nights with blanket piles.
• Breakfast for dinner.
• Mini adventures close to home.
• Letting kids plan something.
• Family playlists.
• Looking at the stars together.
• Doing something fun and not documenting it.

Being totally present is a form of play in itself.

What If You Don’t Know What’s Fun Anymore?

If you’re reading this and realizing you don’t even know what fun means for you anymore, please hear this:

There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just out of practice.

Fun is a muscle.

Start small. Ask yourself:
“What sounds even 5% fun right now?”

That’s more than enough.

Your Permission Slip

You are allowed to do things just because you enjoy them.

You are allowed to let life be easier than you were conditioned to believe.

You are allowed to choose joy every single day without proving you deserve it.

Fun is not a reward for burnout.
Fun is not childish.
Fun is not extra.

Fun gives your life back to you.

A Gentle Question for You

If you could do ONE thing today purely for fun, just because, what would it be?

And if you’re not sure…

Ask your kids.

They remember.

For the last 5 years or more, I’ve always chosen a word that really didn’t end up meaning much. So…this year I didn’t feel the need to force it.

And yet… this word kept finding me.

Throughout the whole month of January, this word kept popping up on my radar. Repeatedly.

The word is Sovereign.

And the more it showed up, the more I realized it wasn’t asking to be chosen — it was asking to be noticed. (Ok Universe…I get it lol)

When a Word Chooses You

I have always loved everything about reflection and intention-setting. But this year feels fundamentally different.

2026 doesn’t feel like a year of striving or reinventing myself.
It feels like a year of becoming grounded.

Grounded in who I am.
Grounded in what I know to be true.
Grounded in the life and work that are already unfolding in front of me.

As this year has taken shape, sovereign keeps appearing as the thread tying everything together – the inner work I’m doing, the boundaries I’m honoring, the conversations I’m having, and the direction my life and business are moving.

At some point this month, I stopped resisting it and thought, maybe this will be my word after all.

Not because I planned it —
but because it feels super aligned with where I’m headed and who I’m becoming.

What Sovereign Means to Me

If I’m being honest, when I first heard the word, I had to look it up LOL! It’s not a word I use daily, but I quickly realized how well it fits with my vision for 2026.

To be sovereign means I recognize myself as the final authority in my own life.

Not in a loud or dominating way and definitely not in a, “I don’t need anyone,” type of vibe.

But in a calm, settled, deeply self-trusting way.

Being sovereign means:

• I no longer outsource my knowing
• I stop abandoning myself to feel safe
• I don’t need permission to honor my truth
• I trust my inner voice more than external approval

Sovereign is an internal becoming.
It’s the decision to stay with myself – even when it would be easier to people-please, explain, or disappear.

The Quiet Ways I Learned to Abandon Myself

For a long time, I didn’t realize how often I was abandoning myself.

I have been the ultimate people pleaser for years – prioritizing other people and their feelings before my own. I would forever be ok with disappointing myself if it meant others weren’t.

It was the nice, responsible, good girl, socially acceptable way to be.

It looked like:

• saying yes when my body said no
• editing myself so others would be comfortable
• being agreeable instead of honest
• prioritizing keeping the peace over alignment
• over-explaining so I could feel safe again

None of this made me weak.

It made me adaptive.

At one point in my life, self-betrayal felt safer than self-trust.
But what once seemed to keep me safe eventually disconnected me.

Becoming sovereign has meant noticing those moments and choosing differently, one small decision at a time.

Sovereign Is Not Harsh or Cold

This part matters. Alot.

Sovereign is not:

• shutting down emotionally and calling it strength
• throwing up hard boundaries just to prove a point
• cutting people off dramatically instead of having honest conversations
• forcing confidence when what’s really needed is safety
• wearing independence like armor

True sovereignty is regulated.

It’s calm.
It’s clear.
It’s grounded.

A sovereign woman doesn’t harden — she anchors.

She can be soft and strong.
Compassionate and boundaried.
Connected and whole.

What Being Sovereign Looks Like in Real Life

Being sovereign doesn’t show up in big, dramatic moments or bold declarations.

It shows up in the small, everyday choices.

It looks like:

• pausing for a beat instead of reacting
• checking in with my body before listening to fear
• letting someone be disappointed without rushing in to fix it
• saying less and actually meaning it
• trusting my timing instead of forcing things to happen
• choosing rest and not feeling guilty about it
• honoring what’s true for me, even when it’s a little inconvenient

Sovereign isn’t a personality trait.
It’s a daily practice.

It’s how I keep choosing myself — again and again.

Sovereign Means Responsibility (Without Shame)

This is the part that gives this word weight.

Being sovereign means I take responsibility for my life.

Not blame.
Not self-criticism.
Responsibility.

I stop making excuses.
I stop giving my power away.
I stop pretending I don’t have a choice.

Responsibility doesn’t mean everything is my fault.
It means I get to choose how I respond – and that beautiful choice is FREEDOM.

Sovereign sounds like:

This is my life and I get to CHOOSE how I show up in it.

Why Sovereign Feels Like the Future I’m Stepping Into

As I lean into this word, something unexpected happens.

My life doesn’t get louder.
It gets quieter in the best way.

My yes is clear.
My no is calm.
My boundaries stop feeling like a performance.
My nervous system feels safer.
And my relationships feel more honest — even when that honesty ruffles a feather or two.

And yes… not everyone is super thrilled with this version of me.

But that doesn’t mean I’m off track.
It means the old dynamic needed my self-betrayal to survive.

Sovereign is the woman I’m becoming — grounded, self-led, and building a life that actually feels like mine.

2026 isn’t about becoming someone new.

It’s about staying.

Staying with my truth.
Staying with my body.
Staying with my values.
Staying with myself as new things unfold.

Because I’m done abandoning myself to feel safe.
Done shrinking to belong.
Done explaining my way into comfort.

This year is about living from self-trust not self-betrayal.

An Invitation for You

If this word stirs something in you, let it.

You don’t need to announce it.
You don’t need to justify it.
You don’t need to explain it.

Just ask yourself:

What would a sovereign version of me choose here?

And then stay with it.

That’s where the real work and the real freedom begins.

Want to Go Deeper?

If this resonates, I’d love to invite you into the spaces where we explore this more fully:

 Listen to the podcast — where we talk about self-trust, self-abandonment, sovereignty, and what it looks like to live an aligned, intentional life.

 Download the Cozy Starter Kit — a gentle, grounding place to begin reconnecting with yourself through reflection, intention, and small, meaningful practices.

Both are beautiful next steps if you’re feeling the pull to come home to yourself.

You’re always welcome here.